About Margreet... #21
the letters
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Dear Family and Friends, Yesterday afternoon Marcia "heard" for the first time Margreet's "voice" from the "other side". I was working with the computer in the huisje when she came and told me with a big smile "I just heard my Mom for the first time" Ohh...? "Yes" she said "I was about to make a plate of yogurt (our usual lunch is yogurt with fruit and muslie) for myself when I heard her telling me 'You better also make one for Bob. Don't let him eat 'toasties' (grilled cheese sandwitch) all the time.' So I'll be bringing you your yogurt in a little while". "You DO want some yogurt, right?" she asked pointedly. How could I say "no"? She may send me a bolt from Heaven right away... and it IS healthy and good tasting, so it's a win-win situation... just the way it's supposed to be. So... DID she actually "hear" Margreet's voice? Was this something that Margreets spirit actually said?... Or was it perhaps that, starting to fix her food, for herself, something triggered a memory of Margreet saying something like that?... Could be... I don't know. I think that, for aesthetic reasons, I like the idea of her living on in a different dimension, or... a parallel universe, which exists all along, but we just can't access it for some reason, probably one of the rules of the game... except when we have this real intensive desire to reach across, as I'm sure Margreet would have. I like that idea, it's pretty, I could draw a comic book about it... but at the end, what I know is... that it makes no difference. The point is that she caught that 'intuition'... that 'impulse'... that 'voice'... that told her to do something that was good for everyone involved, and... she ACTED on it. THAT was good! Margreet and I have said so many times, as I'm sure you have also, "I should have done that! I heard a voice telling me to do that, but I didn't follow it!"... time and time again... over and over again.... seems we never learn. She was still doing it a few months ago. The fact that Marcia associates that impulse with Margreet's voice is probably good. Makes it easier to hear. But Marcia could just as well have been following some deep genetic code that points us to a sociable act, like to invite someone to eat while you are also eating. That may actually be an inborned tendency among us sociable animals... (hmmm... "beings") Something encoded in our genetic structure that promotes the survival of the species. To be kind to your neighbor would seem like a natural pro-survival action in the long run. So... it could have been some primal impulse that she associated with Margreet and therefore she 'heard' Her voice. Hmm... maybe... I still like the Angels better. Makes no difference... as long as she acted upon that impulse, all came out well. (who are we to question the wisdom of our chromosomes?) Which reminded me of something that had always confused me. The expression of: "THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS!!" I always got the impression that whoever said it was trying to discourage the doing of "good intentions", since, after all, they pave the road to Hell. I'm not going to do that! That didn't make any sense to me. What kind of "wisdom" is it that discourages good deeds? That is loco. It didn't make sense until I realized that not all "saying" have survived the passage of time intact. Like "HAPPY AS A CLAM"... I always wondered if the clams were really happy. I don't seem to find a smile on their faces... I can't even find a face ... so, how did they know that they were happy. I thought those ancients, who wrote this folkloric wisdom, must have known something that I don't... Until I heard someplace, I don't remember where, that the complete saying is "HAPPY AS A CLAM AT HIGH WATER!" Now THAT makes sense! No need for some mysterious knowledge from the ancients! The high water means food! I'd be happy also! That made me realize that "THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVE WITH GOOD INTENTIONS!" is also not complete. The wisdom that created the sayings is missing. The real saying is something like "THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS NOT CARRIED OUT!" How do I know this? Well... imaging, if you will, that Margreet asks me to bring a warm robe from the attic, her current one is too thin, "next time you get a chance"... This is something she would have done herself right away, had she'd been able to move around. Later on I'm doing stuff in the attic and as I pass by the robe, which is hanging on a rack, I remember... "Oh, yeah. I'll bring the robe down." But then I see the computer and I have to go and check the mail... by the time I'm done the robe is forgotten and I walk to the huisje. What I catch when I get home could be said is HELL! (OK, OK, 'm exaggerating a bit, it may not have been really HELL, but it was certainly pretty much like PURGATORY) So... WHY didn't I grab the robe as I thought about it? I don't know... I'm pretty thick, I guess, I just didn't 'hear' good enough. I just didn't and some unpleasantness happened. Multiply those happenings a few hundred times and you can see pretty unpleasant moments of life. Multiply them a few billion times and it's not difficult to see the reason the world is in such a poor shape. Good intentions not carried out. Now, if I can think that it is Margreet, herself, who is talking to me... that is much easier. I recognize that "voice". I can hear it much easier. I already hear her talking to me when I'm dressing in the morning, choosing my clothes... "No that shirt doesn't go with those pants"... "Ok, that's better"... "you are color blind, huh?"... Let's see if I can stay on track :-) BTW, did you know that the word 'sin' (zonde) in the Aramic, the original language of the Bible, means "to miss the mark" as shooting an arrow and missing the target? Maybe that's what they were talking about. If every "good intention not carried out" is another cobblestone placed on the road to Hell, maybe every "good intention carried out" is another wrung added to the ladder to Heaven. (Hmmm... yeah... I like the angel version of reality better than the chromosome one, I'll stick with that one) Meanwhile, we are working on her celebration of life :-) C-ya! Bob |
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